So you’re doing what again…?

To be honest, I wish I had a solid answer to that question.  It’s been a while since I’ve blogged and so much of my life has changed since my last post at the start of this year.

My life looks completely opposite of what I thought it would look like at 25.

Let’s be clear.  I don’t come from a cookie cutter background but that definitely motivated me to want and acquire a cookie cutter life.  The perfect degrees, the perfect job, the perfect salary, the perfect apartment, the perfect car….all the accolades associated with success.

While I’ve accomplished a number of things on the above list, the experiences with these things have been far from perfect.  

College graduation!

I did graduate from NYU in 2014 and made the decision to take a year off before applying to law school (read about that here).  I signed up for a number of prep courses in that first year which cost me tons of money.  But back then I didn’t have to pay for rent or real utilities so I was blowing money fasttt #adulting (read about my struggles with budgeting here).  Needless to say,  its been 4 years out (oh my goshhhh) and I’m not in law school.  I did apply in 2017 though but was waitlisted and denied from a number of schools, which I took as God’s way of telling me that law school was not for this season.

Image result for whet meme
Is this working out for my good…really? Whet?

Sometimes, we allow our goals and desires to distract us from God’s goals and desires for us.  Applying to law school last year appeared to be great for my personal feeling of accomplishment but was clearly not what God wanted for me at that time.   All things work together for the good though, right? (Romans 8:28)

So, since I had that identity breakdown in August 2017, I took a moment to really hear from God about what He wants me to do next.  Through a host of fast paced events, I heard and received the call to ministry and began my seminary journey in the Master of Divinity program at New York Theological Seminary!  I’m a Minister in Training ….and I’m still humbled by the calling but also the weight of it all (I’m hoping to explore my experience in future blog posts).

As a Minister (which truly means Servant) and a Seminary student, I have learned so much about myself, what I believe, and who God is for me.  We currently live in a world where God is made to be everything anyone wants Him to be and living life along terms of fluctuating self-definition can be dangerous.  What is the boundary?  What is the structure?  Is it necessary? Who determines this?

My hope, starting today, is to blog more consistently about my experiences as a young adult woman of color in ministry and what I am learning about myself.  I’m also hoping that my internal desires to live a faith life manifest into action steps toward living out my purpose.  One of those steps being my attendance at the Pinky Promise Conference in Atlanta (my first time!) and a missions trip in Ghana, West Africa (a 100000% faith move and if you want to contribute to my trip feel free to email me or CASH APP me!!  I need *all of the COINSSSZZZ*).

One of the most important things I’m learning along this journey is that I don’t have to have everything together.

I don’t need to have the perfect brand, the perfect colors, the right platform …I just need to be consistent in what I believe that God has called me to do. I believe that God allowed my dreams to break down so His vision could step up to the forefront.  Journey with me as that vision unfolds.

Until next time!

Neish xo






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