I remember at the start of 2018, I prayed that I would have a year unlike any other. I prayed that God would shake up my world and blow my mind.
And who would God be if He didn’t deliver? Haha.
2018 was an interesting year. Aaron and I had an interesting rollercoaster relationship with each other and in our individual lives. I finished my first year of seminary while Aaron tried to get footing with employment and future desires for stability. I traveled to Atlanta for the Pinky Promise Conference after following Heather Lindsey’s ministry for YEARSSS. I met Sarah Jakes Roberts – my best friend in my head. I didn’t go to Ghana but that whole thing was an interesting journey. I was so close to going but so caught up in my own mind of figuring things out. Talk about the struggle to surrender and seek God with faith. Goodness.
Then I started my second year at seminary. I became a research assistant with one of my mentors (talk about #levels). I grew in responsibility at my current job. Aaron and I pushed through to celebrate our fifth anniversary together in November. Then ….December hit.
Aaron has been trying for a while to get established with school. But because of how he left his first college, financial aid was not there for him at all. Luckily, or purposely by God, He was afforded the opportunity to attend a top university …which is amazing!
…the only thing is …the school is in the Midwest. And he was starting in January!
I couldn’t believe it. So if anyone knows us, we’re practically attached at the hip. Not that that’s a great thing, but it’s definitely something that’s shaped our closeness and our dependence on each other. Aaron not being around meant that I had to not only adjust my life and routine but also get ready to confront the weaknesses and flaws in myself that I selfishly used my relationship to conceal and keep me from directly confronting.
So it was tough. I cried a lot. We shared tense words and he battled with trusting God and having faith that this will all work out and also the possibility of losing me and our relationship. I just wanted to know what this meant for us – like are we getting married? Am I moving out there with him?
Needless to say, I had made so much progress personally that I knew what the answer was already. This was Aaron’s opportunity and journey – it wasn’t for us to go or us to stay. It was for Aaron to make a decision to follow God or to follow his fears of losing me.
I’m grateful he chose God.
I didn’t know what that would mean for us but I figured I should appreciate the fact that he trusted God more than he trusted me and I had to trust God that He would work everything out the way it should be. So I was just like “ok, this sucks but …God I guess.” Because at that point, what am I really going to do? Just be mad at God? I learned so much more about what true love really is in this decision and what it means to love God first and then love your neighbor as you love yourself. I could honestly say that God showed Aaron and I the depth of love needed to really be committed to each other.
We’re not perfect. And our relationship isn’t a fairy tale …believe me. But I wouldn’t have life any other way!
So, after the clock struck 12 am on New Year’s Day, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. So now I’m engaged! THAT. PART. 😭😭
I’s getting married! Lol.
So I learned and am learning in the middle of my long distance relationship with my now fiancé that life is better when I trust God and trust His plans for me. His plans are so perfect!
Aaron’s proposal was beautiful, thoughtful, heart felt and the ring is PERFECT. Look out for our video describing the road to our engagement because …it’s all a faith story.
What I loved about 2018 is that I learned so much more about myself than ever. My fears, my flaws, my limits, God’s presence. I was stretched, humbled often – I cried so much than I feel I’ve ever cried before. And in the middle of feeling like I lost everything, I gained SO MUCH.
A self confidence not dependent on anyone or anything but an assurance that God is indeed with me.
Beautiful friendships aka sisterships. 😭
2018 was painful, difficult, but beautiful.
So now, in 2019, I’m in a long distance relationship with the love of my life. He’s flourishing and I am too – without the unhealthy dependence on each other. We are planning our wedding for next year!! (Omg, another post about wedding planning is definitely forthcoming lol). I am becoming even more confident in God being with me and my calling to ministry. Thinking about next steps and possibly pursuing a PhD! My life is expanding in ways I could not have orchestrated myself. I’m so grateful.
So 2019, is brand new and beautiful. I can’t wait to see what God does in my life and those close to me. But I’m sure it’ll be amazing.
I pray that God blesses you as He’s been blessing me! Increase, favor, humility, loss but so much gain! ♥️