Getting engaged was such an amazing moment and being engaged to my fiance has been an amazing journey. Going through this journey separated (Aaron is in school in the Midwest) has also been interesting and not always fun. For obvious reasons, I wanted Aaron to stay in New York because he’s my best friend, but with him not here physically, I had to force myself to confront my routine, my desires, and also my development of meaningful relationships around me. That’s a high amount of confrontation internally. I encourage myself by telling myself it’s all a process.
I also realized that before I could marry Aaron, I have to make a choice to break up with a few things. Regardless if you’re in a romantic relationship or not, there are some things in our lives that we are entangling ourselves with and we don’t know how to get out of those things. Whether it be fear, doubt, guilt, abandonment, shame, hurt, trauma – there are so many things that we forge emotional relationships with and that keep us from creating and developing healthy relationships with ourselves and with others.
So it becomes a choice.
In Hebrews 12, the writer advises us to lay aside every weight that so easily ensnares or entangles us. As my Pastor pointed out today, the fact that we have to lay aside every weight means that we are all carrying something. What are you carrying today? And where did you pick it up from? For some of us, we pick it up from our parents and our environments. Traumas and scars that weren’t healed in their lives that affected our childhood and upbringing. For some of us, we were violated by those we trusted. We were let down and abandoned or ignored. For some of us, we pick up the weight of others ..without first dealing with our own. We make relationships a shared dependency that keeps both parties weighed down unable to forge forward to the future. For some of us, we pick up our weight from negative perceptions and broken paradigms based on our emotional state. We forge patterns and create routines with our weight.
We wait on our weight. We don’t wait on God but instead we let our emotions dictate our decisions. So I ask …what are you carrying? What are you in relationship? What are you eliminating from your life? We talk about working out to lose physical weight but are we working out our soul’s salvation with fear and trembling or with intentionality? It’s time for us to take inventory of what we’re in relationship with. It’s time for us to break up with some of our past loves and decide that we want to return to our first love – Jesus. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son so He could bear the weight of our sin, give us the opportunity for eternal life, and exchange our brokenness for joy.
What are you breaking up with today? Let’s declare it and move forward! It’s time to let those weights go.