It’s the love for control for meeeeee.
I like to know how things are going to go, I like to plan ahead, I like to feel like I have a handle on everything that is going on with my life because it eases my anxiety. I also like what I like and want what I want in the TIME that I want it (only child syndrome). Admittedly, I’m not big on patience.
And sometimes my desire for CONTROL leads me to the discomfort of COMPARISON. You know when you are desiring a thing and you have a timeline for acquiring it and then you see someone else get that thing!! Y’all. That sends me down a path of so many WHY questions and unhappiness that I blogged about the cycle of discontentment here.
This year has been one of those years. Who can agree that 2020 has been a crazy year?! For me, I started out the year not sure of when I was actually going to settle on a wedding date, not sure how my life at work would progress, not sure of how my long-distance engagement would continue, not sure of what my summer vacation plans would look like. 2020 was a year of uncertainty for me mainly because my control over it was so unclear. And then the pandemic happened. And I felt like WHAT IS GOING ON. Did you feel this way too?
And then, as each day progressed, God began to make clear in HIS TIME what my life this year would look like. God confirmed and made known my wedding date (May 1, 2020). God ended my long-distance engagement and now we’re married and living in the same place. God made it so that travel wasn’t a thing so I didn’t have to be concerned about where to go necessarily since there are so many precautions. He kept me safe from the virus. God supported and encouraged me in my new role and confirmed my career journey moving forward.
When I look at that last paragraph, I realize that all of the decisions and things that took place this year were out of my control and fully in God’s hand! In Ecclesiastes 3:11, it says that God has made everything BEAUTIFUL in ITS time.
Not in my time.
Not in your time.
Not in society’s time.
Not in Instagram’s time.
God makes everything beautiful according to that thing. Some things happen fast because the beautification process looks different. Some things take a while because the beauty process for that thing is greater, more necessary. Let’s commit to changing our mind from being concerned with the length of time to being grateful for the opportunity for patience to have its perfect work in us so we may be complete, lacking nothing when that thing God wants us to have is full GROWN (James 1:4).
For example, when I look back at the time when I was dating and wanting to be married …I now know that I would not have been ready to handle having a husband because of my own immaturity and not knowing who I am. I’m so much more aware of who I am now and I see how waiting to get married (although I thought it was taking too long) helped me develop a better sense of who I am.
I see the beauty in God not just perfecting my desires but also perfecting (completing) ME.
God wants you to have the best! Be encouraged today that what you may think is taking a while to happen for you is just God’s perfect way of preparing you to appreciate the beauty of the thing you are to have in its purposed time. Everything has a maturity date in its time, and you will BLOOM when its the right time.